우리 안의 경계인(境界人)

Abstract

본인은 개인의 영역 내에서 연구된 ‘경계(境界)’의 의미를 중의적으로 해석하고, 이를 타인과 현대인으로 범위를 확장하여 우리 모두가 지니는 ‘경계의 영역’을 회화에 담는 연구를 진행하였다. 본 논문은 ‘경계인(境界人)’을 통한 관계적 의미를 살펴보고 이를 본인 회화의 ‘심미적 공간’에 구현하여 이것이 어떻게 동시대미술의 맥락에서 표현되었는지 살펴볼 것이다. 본인은 물리적인 사회적 관계의 고립으로 인해 심리적 외로움을 지닌 채 자신의 뚜렷한 소속이 정의되지 못하는 인간 존재에서 오히려 개인의 의미를 찾고자 하였다. 이는, ‘경계선 장애인’인 본인의 동생에게 영향을 받아 인간의 이면을 관찰하며 시작되었다. 본인이 관찰한 경계선 장애인은 소통의 단절로 인해 고립된 영역에서 타인의 시선을 의식하지 않는 봉인된 시선의 삶을 살아간다. 이 같은 측면은 현대인이 자신의 삶을 포장하여 전시하는 위선적인 시선과 맞물려 결국 우리 모두의 내면에 양면의 모습을 지닌 ‘경계인’이 존재한다는 것으로 생각이 발전되었다. 경계선 장애인은 단절된 소통으로 인해 왜곡된 기억을 지니게 된다. 마찬가지로 현대인의 기억 또한 원본이 없으며 자기중심적으로 편집되어 있다. 본인은 왜곡된 기억을 보관 가능한 유형의 물질로 상상하고, 흐릿해지고 사라진 기억을 언제든지 꺼낼 수 있다는 설정을 한다. 하지만, 보관된 기억을 꺼내보아도 결국 편집된 기억이었다는 사유를 통해, 원본이 되는 기존의 기억에서 왜곡된 기억을 삽입하여 전혀 다른 기억을 재현시키는 방식을 가져온다. 편집된 장면이 들어오면서 서사는 완결된 이야기로써 설정되지 않으며 결말은 알 수 없게 된다. 어떻게 전개될지 모르는 사건의 결말은 관객의 입장에서 해석의 여지를 더 풍부하게 만들며 열린 구조를 형성한다. 본인은 열린 구조의 서사가 주어진 프레임을 이탈하고 또 다른 사건을 만들며 작동하는 것을 본인 회화의 특징으로 삼아 ‘증식하는 회화’라고 명명하였다. ;I conducted research on representing the shared “border area” in paintings by deliberately obscuring the meaning of a “border” which was studied within private space and by expanding it into the public and modern people. This thesis observes the relative meaning conveyed by a “border person” and embodies it in the “aesthetic space” of my painting to examine its representation in the context of contemporary art. I rather looked for the meaning of an individual through human beings without clear association with others and with mental loneliness due to the isolation from social and physical relationships. It was initiated through my brother, who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), inspiring me to follow the inside of human. I observed that BPD sufferers lead lives in isolation, blocking others’ eyes by severing communications. Such aspect was met with modern people’s hypocritical eyes through which their own lives become hyperbolized and showcased, and eventually, it evolved into an idea that all of us consists of a two-sided“border-person” deep inside. BPD sufferers bear distorted memories because of severed communication. Likewise, modern people’s memory gets edited egocentrically, lacking authenticity. I imagine that distorted memory is a tangible material that can be saved, and I established that ambiguous or vanished memory can be retrieved whenever. However, a thought occurred that even the saved memory is indeed edited, which brings about a method of reproducing a completely different memory by inserting a distorted one into the original one. As the edited scene is introduced, the narrated story is not set as finalized, and the ending becomes unknown. The unclear development of the event toward the end gives the audience plenty of room for interpretation and provides an open structure. I made my painting distinctive with a narrative operating in an open structure, escaping the given frame, and generating other events; it is named “propagating painting”. Bringing an image into a screen, as Roland Gérard Barthes mentioned in Punctum, is to manifest a diverging meaning from the original through one’s own experience as the perspectives of the past and the present cross each other although the very image remains identical. Such arbitrarily chosen images are combined only because they touch each other like a paper doll casually dealing with the situation. Nevertheless, in comparison to pixels with the assumption that the lack of one single pixel may destroy a whole digital image, rifts and gaps between images look for a bond through physical properties and gestures of painting. To form a relationship with others for those who are separated and isolated from society, a method of painting, which attaches corresponding objects, was derived. As for multiple vivid colors, low chroma is not placed next to the high chroma according to the hierarchy, but high chroma sits next to high chroma. This hides a personal complex resulting from a psychological gap, and it intends to expose the meaning of an individual who is neglected in social relationships. Vivid colors that are not juxtaposed in harmony permeate into everyone’s domain while drifting on the screen, and they represent the hope for individuals’significance to stand out. The work <Boundary Feed> has equally sized canvases that maintain individually independent shapes and simultaneously form a large scale painting in a group. Those pieces that didn’t touch each other but scattered become aesthetic space that describes the other side of modern people who desires to belong somewhere, that is, the identity of a border-person. This reflects modern people’s dynamic relationships as well as a free movement without a permanent settlement like nomads, according to Gilles Deleuze. Consequently, a borderline expands its fixed function of protection and achieves the possibility of other relationships. Therefore, the meaning of a “border” that divides contrasting sides rather empowers one to take a step back and see others, to relate to other selves, and to understand each other’s standpoint.